13 Musician Jokes That Will Make You Chuckle

musician jokesNeed a stress relief?

Here’s a fun list of 13 musician jokes that will surely put a smile on your face.

(NOTE: You can substitute the instrument listed for a different kind…but I didn’t tell you that.)

1) Banjo players spend half their lives tuning and the other half playing out of tune.

2) Did you hear about the bassist who was so out of tune the bass section noticed?

3) What’s the definition of a quarter tone?  A harpist tuning unison strings.

4) How do you know when a trombone player is at your door?  The doorbell drags.

5) What’s the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?  The exhaust.

6) Why do some people instantly dislike banjo players?  It saves time.

7) How is lightening like a violist’s fingers?  Neither one strikes in the same place twice.

8) What is the definition of a half step?  Two oboes playing in unison.

9) Why is the French horn a divine instrument?  Because a man blows in it, but only God knows what comes out of it.

10) Definition of a gentleman: Someone who can play the bagpipes, but doesn’t.

11) What’s the difference between trumpet players and government bonds?  Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.

12) Why are orchestra intermissions limited to twenty minutes?  So you don’t have to retrain the drummers.

And my all time favorite…

13) How do you get a guitar player to play softer?  Give him some sheet music.

Have a wonderful day!

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